According to Smart Parenting, special children often get unwanted attention through offensive comments and questions. Although the little ones are probably unaware of what is being said, their parents,the recipients of these comments and questions, are the ones who are really on the receiving end of such remarks. To avoid these unpleasant situations, we asked parents of children with special needs what they common remarks they find inappropriate.
#1 “Kawawa naman siya”
This is a common statement said to someone who’s condition is seen as a misfortune or a tragedy. Not all special people have let their condition limit them from what they can do.
#2 “What happened to her? Did you know beforehand?”
Questions like these can suggest that the parents may have done something to cause their child’s condition. Explaining the special child’s condition and finding out about it after birth is a good way to address this.
#3 “Is it from your side of the family or your wife’s/husband’s?”
This question shows pointing fingers at who or what is to blame for the child’s condition. Parents may have no idea whether the condition was passed on by either of their families especially since genetic testing can be expensive. Even if they do have an answer, some parents feel that this is private information they are not comfortable sharing it with others.
#4 “Swerte yan!”
Remarks pertaining to how having a child with special needs is “lucky” are should not be said. Special children are not charms who will give luck and prosperity but they are simply human beings with their own personalities.
This word can deeply hurt a parent of a child with special needs as it is saying that they are not good enough or they are futile.Saying this to a parent of a differently-abled child shows a lack of recognition and appreciation of the child.
#6 “Maybe you should try this drug/diet/therapy.”
A parent of a child with special needs has enough to worry about. Although these suggestions may come with good intentions, it somehow suggests that the parent is not doing enough or making wrong decision for the child.
#7 Staring at the child.
It is very offensive and very upsetting to stare at a special child. Staring is considered rude under any circumstances and for parents of children with special needs, the stares also come off as looks of judgment.